Hating (looming) endings, and moving forward

I officially only have 1 week left in Ob/Gyn, and am absolutely dreading the end.  Usually, endings are just that....endings (or, new beginnings, whichever way you look at them).  But, what really makes this one poignant, is that incredible amount of learning and growth I have done during this short month, and the things I have accomplished.  I have found my niche clinically, and would like nothing more than to stay where I am, to continue learning what I'm learning, and have that amazing feeling that comes from the daily reinforcement of being exactly where I'm supposed to be professionally and personally, and know that what I'm doing matters.  I have to give so much credit to my amazing preceptor, who has made this rotation an amazing, full-throttle adventure, and given me so many reasons to be thankful for the time and energy he has spent investing in my training.  I have gained clinical pearls to use in practice, new surgical techniques, and life lessons that I will carry with me and use for the rest of my life.  I also enjoyed enormous respect and patience from my preceptor and his partner; both of them never made me feel as though I was "just" a student.  I was able to engage in conversations and question why things are done a certain way in practice, and they actively probed my mind to force me to think about why I do/say/teach my patients a certain way.  I know that I am a better provider because of this month, and I only hope I can re-pay the immense gift I have been given with their teaching by emulating their styles in my own practice. 

This is also the first time that I (seriously) began realizing that the job hunt is near.  Mostly because I am realizing just how enormous the task in front of me seems....especially since only 3-4% of practicing PAs end up practicing in Ob/Gyn....aka my job hunt will be long and difficult.  In addition to the academic/practice-based things I have learned this rotation, I also gained a very solid idea of what will be absolutely essential to me when I practice, and the things I will be looking for in a job and supervising physician.  For now, I have several surgeries, C-sections, and hopefully a few more vaginal deliveries between now and next Friday, and I am hoping to soak up every possible clinical pearl and patient encounter before then. 

Learning and growth

2 more weeks have passed in Ob/Gyn, with 2 more full weeks left to go (plus next weekend on call).  I don't know when there has been a shorter amount of time where I have learned so much, and I am absolutely dreading August 31, when this rotation ends, and I have to say goodbye to this experience.  It has been phenomenal in terms of personal growth and learning, and finding the excitement that I had been lacking in my decisions to become a PA in recent months.  I had the opportunity to work with the other doctor in the practice, which was extremely beneficial.  I have become a much more confident provider and surgical assist because of my time spent with him.  I have learned countless procedures, refined my suturing techniques (which, being a lefty, provide some interesting, awkward challenges, when everyone else around the table sutures opposite the way I do; I learned some very handy tips to overcome some of the barriers in my way) and learned a ton about why things are done the way they are in Ob/Gyn. 

2 more weeks to go, and I hope many more amazing patient interactions, and much more learning awaits me in these 2 weeks.  I don't know that I've ever been truly sad that the end of a rotation is in sight, but this one for sure has me feeling blue to leave. 

Having a very special privilege

I have finished a week and some change of my OB/GYN rotation, and I really don't want it to end!  I   have 3 full weeks left, plus my weekends on-call, but I am having way too much fun to think about ever doing anything else.  So far, I've assisted in several C-sections, several GYN surgeries, and been there as several babies were born, and a family was changed forever.  It's really special being there with a mother and father, as their lives change, and a new life enters the world.  It's breathtaking and priceless and miraculous all in one.

Yesterday was my first day off in 9, and I actually found myself extremely bored (you know I must either be very sleep-deprived, crazy, or both, when I am bored during a much-needed day off), because I have gotten so used to the long hours, endless coffee binges, and seeing so many cool procedures, visiting patients of all ages and medical complaints, and learning/doing so much.

I had a suspicion I would love Ob/Gyn before this rotation, given that it has a combo of clinic/well-visits, surgeries, and different areas of medicine that forces me to use all aspects of my training up to this point.  However, I don't think I was quite prepared for how much I would fall in love with Ob/Gyn.  Now, my dilemma is that I know how rare PA jobs are in Ob/Gyn, and I worry now that my job hunt will be immensely difficult due to that scarcity.  But, at this point, I am focused on learning/doing/seeing as much as possible during the next 3 weeks, and praying that maybe, just maybe, I will find a job doing exactly what I want to do.

That's all until next week; I'm on call all weekend (again), and hoping for more babies :-)  Here's just a taste of what I've gotten to see countless times this week :-)  It never gets old!